itshalfempty

I’ve heard from many engineers over the years that their 1:1 conversations can often provide relatively little value. Whether it’s with a manager, peer, direct report, or skip-level, 1-on-1 conversations are often focused on chatting about the weekend and day-to-day work. While these topics are great for solving tactical problems and building rapport, what frequently gets lost are broader conversations about career growth, strategic vision, and personal goals. Having high-value 1-on-1s is even more important in our increasingly remote-first world, as the opportunities for daily informal conversation are very infrequent.

I’ve compiled a few tips I’ve learned - both as a front-line manager and an individual contributor - that I try to keep in mind to improve the value of my 1:1s.

Have a goal for each meeting

A 1:1 should not be a one-sided conversation – even between a manager and a direct report. Both participants should have a clear goal for what they plan to get out of each meeting. For peers who might not work together often, a goal could be as simple as sharing highlights and lowlights. When meeting with a new team member, it might be an opportunity to learn more about each other. Whatever the goal is, sharing it at the start of the meeting will set the agenda for the conversation and make sure that both parties are getting what they want out of the time together.

Focus on topics that need the face time

Resist the temptation to use scheduled 1:1s to discuss topics that can be handled elsewhere. Dedicated 1:1 time is valuable, and it’s not the best use of this time to discuss topics that might be easy to handle via Slack, e-mail, a document, or other meetings. Instead, focus on topics that:

• Might be urgent or otherwise require attention
• Are difficult to discuss elsewhere. Some conversations are best performed “face-to-face” because context and tone is harder to convey via text.
• Could require discussion that would be harder to conduct asyncronously

If the conversation lingers a little too long on a topic that you think is better handled outside of the 1:1, and there are additional topics you’d like to talk about, don’t be afraid to ask to continue the conversation offline and move on to a different topic.

Take notes

When I was a new manager, I felt very awkward about taking notes during in-person 1:1s. I wanted the other person to feel like they had my full attention, and it felt strange to me to look away at my computer and type while the other person talked. What made a big difference for me was to take notes in a shared document and to make sure that they reflected a common understanding, rather than just my personal take. It’s much easier and very natural to take notes like you might in any other meeting, in a way where both parties can view and adjust the notes in real-time during the meeting.

In my experience, taking shared notes helps in several ways.

1. It’s a record of the conversation from both participants’ perspectives
2. It makes it easy to evaluate how effective your conversations have been, which can help you make adjustments to the meeting goals, format, or frequency
3. Keeping track of action items helps drive accountability

Treat 1:1s like any other meeting

These are all suggestions I’d give for running effective meetings in general. In my opinion, an effective 1:1 isn’t much different from a regular meeting – the notable difference being that there are only two attendees who are both responsible for leading the meeting. While 1:1s can be a great way to break down barriers between people, avoid the trap of thinking that the purpose of a 1:1 is just to have some time set aside to “catch up”.